Well dinner was fun we went to Chillis and I might have had a bit too much pomegranate margaretta but sure was yum!! Lol! Still not smoking! Being out like that in a place where there is no smoking allowed drinking and NOT smoking is not a problem but at a friends?? Better not try that for a long while yet!
I am really having troubles with the patch!! I put it on it itches like crazy and then a bad headache! I plain dont feel well with it on so the last 2 days I seem to have to take it back off fairly fast! Guess the level is to high for me but it said the 21 mg patch was right for a pack + a day smoker!! Well it's not!
I figured out a good thing about Tim still smoking--instead of making me want want it is reinforcing my desire to quit! He is careful, goes outside and usually takes the dog so he is in the yard while smoking where it is windy. But when he comes in wow! It really does smell!! Often it is not just around him but the smell goes all across the house!! I am at the point where I can often tell smokers now! It reminds me of high school before I started smoking full time when you could never go inside a bathroom without reeking of smoke coming out!I remember my Latin teacher getting upset with one of the most popular girls in school who was also a non-smoker accusing her of being a smoker when she can to class directly from the restroom .
Actually I can think of many times smoking seems stupid but since I was one seems stupider to complain! Once at bingo the ventilation system broke down. The man running the session that night suggested we try to take it easy and limit ourselves but hey! is there anything more frustrated than being on 3 ways and they still dont call your number?? Anyway it got so bad you didn't even need to light up to smoke. It was against all rules and security but they had to open a big roll up door and post security guards there. Gotta say it was bad because it WAS being inside a smoke filled building !!
Anyway we smokers tend to ignore all the unpleasant stuff just like druggies do in the midst of their addictions or foodies with theirs..the list goes on! We try not to think of the cost, we don't notice the smell. we rationalize the health risks, even when it hits home like Bob's lung cancer or heart attacks. My kids were both premies which has been linked to heavy smoking even though back then we could go into the waiting room and smoke. But to be honest we were warned about risks of smoking but didn't want to believe . Still don't! It is a whole lot easier to go on with what is comfortable the norm. It is hard when it makes us so uncomfortable to try and change for the better so we revert. I am good on addictions! But with smoking I simply have to treat it the same as my food one--day by day. I do know it gets easier in time. My main concern is I can still sometimes pig out on a special fave but I do know I can never smoke again or all I am going thru now will be in vain.
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