Day 9 I want a smoke!

Thought the worse is supposed to be over in a week  yea right.  I went along with that fallacy before when Bob had his heart attack he was using patches while in the hospital and I made sure he had some for when he came home but he couldn't do it.  It is hard.  I had always felt so guilty by not somehow forcing, insisting whatever about our smoking.Well heck...we did agree after that to smoking only in our room or outside so I guess that was something. We did become closer than ever we knew life can and does get cut short and you can lose someone you love in a heartbeat. He did survive the widowmaker and we got to have 12 more years together.

In truth I have never believed his cancer was caused  by smoking alone.  He did a lot of remolding work removed a lot of old asbestos laden floors, ceilings etc in old houses all over in addition to when his former boss got contracts to remove flooring in the prisons and a few postal offices.Bob was the guy who followd along the other guy so he got full exposure.  It was before a lot of the safety measures in place now...he didnt even wear a simple nose mask most of the time.He'd come home covered in stuff and have to take a shower.  Asbestos used to be so common when I was a kid we would play in the old barn with sheets of wallboard made of the stuff. There was tons!  And yes it often broke apart so I know we all breathed in quite a bit!  Bob did all of the removal work plus his constant work on car brakes and such...well along with smoking and family tendency to lung cancer ....enough said.

For me I just cannot use the patches I get really bad headaches and chest pain with them so I am stuck with only my e smoke to help with severe cravings.  It helps...I really can't understand the controversy about e cigs. to me and other smokers it is a better way to ease away from smoking than patches/lozenges/gum etc,,,but many stern medical professionals want them banned/regulated whatever gee I guess because they are not in control of them.  Doctors themselves are more accepting they go with whatever works to get people to stop smoking period. And if e smokes help well my doc approves.  But I have read about big groups so down on it citing all sorts of stupid "facts" like it still is hand to mouth thing and they want to discourage that and how lozenges/gum have built in delays to remove a person from dependence of smoking all sorts of blah blah!! Ok simple truth!  So many smokers are unable with your methods of patch/lozenges/gum hell the medical profession even has a mist/inhaler themselves.What is wrong at all with another method to help people to quit?  Truth is I would not have lasted this long without it!

In all honestly those many years ago when Bob tried..I believe he would have succeeded with an e cig added to his patch for desperate times.